While we yearn to be loved unconditionally, most people are only prepared to give love very conditionally. In truth love is not about control, ownership, expectations or having one’s egoistic needs met. Love is what transpires when we fully awaken our heart-centred consciousness – becoming fully aware of oneness, accepting others flaws and embracing all of a person’s highs and lows in an unconditional, non judgemental way.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
5 powerful points needed to experience a fulfilled relationship:
1. Eliminating criticism and blame of yourself and your partner
Freeing a relationship from blame and criticism does take major commitment, effort and perseverance to accomplish, but the rewards are liberating. Remember, blame and criticism, of both self and the other often acts as a protection from truly dealing with one’s own insecurities and lack of self-love and self-worth. Thus, self-reflected guilt and shame are only useful if they help us to change our own behaviour.
2. Own your own feelings
Our thoughts about the world creates our experiences, and it is our thoughts about people that we are truly attached to. Change our thoughts and we change our experience. Accept full responsibility for how you feel as you are the creator of your internal experience. A change in feeling translates to a change in destiny.
3. Always make the present moment more important than the past and future
The present moment is your reality. While the mind tends to make the past and future so very vital and important, love is only accessible to us in the present moment. For relationships to sustain, they must be fed with the light of presence. Let those should have done, could do, ought to have, go and realise that this moment now is unique and precious, and not to be wasted on regrets, grudges, blame and unforgiveness.
4. Make listening twice as important as responding
While the other is speaking, rather than strategising a response, be patient and allow the conversation to unfold. Become still inside and watch the magic of presence unfold in miraculous ways. You will find your words flowing more from the heart rather than from the conditioned and insecure mind.
5. Allow the other to be as they are
Love the other for who they are, not for who you wish or would want them to be. You will more than likely find that as you love them for who they are, they will reflect that back to you.
We yearn to be accepted for just who we are, unconditionally, so let’s give some of that to the world. Let’s be less judgemental, less conditional. Let us invite unconditional love into our awareness, into our lives.
In love, light & happiness
Debbie Taylor
