Due to changes in the world resulting from the pandemic, industries are shutting down, schools are closed, people are seeking new jobs and are having to home school their children. Therefore recently, many of my clients have asked, how did you do it Debs?! Being both a single mom, raising children as well as running a successful business as a woman entrepreneur?
This is pertinent right now as entrepreneurship is raising due to the need to be innovative and change career paths. There is no formula or exact steps to follow, and many challenges presented themselves throughout my journey. I remember putting my eldest to sleep inboxes full of clothes when I was working late in the fashion industry. My kids had a play section in my office, they were not allowed noisy toys and learned from a young age to play quietly while I was on the phone.
So to answer your questions of:
How did you manage to do both being a full-time career woman and a single parent?
The Honest Feedback I can give you is the following:
Be Super Organised
Routine – stick to your schedule!
No matter where you are feeding time is feeding time – kids will feel relaxed when everything happens at the same time every day, this comforts them and keeps them calm, so if you are working from home and looking after kids at the same time, organize your work around the kids feeding routine as much as possible.
Time Management is Essential
If you know a task takes a certain amount of time, do not allow yourself to go over that time period – keep checking the clock and set alarms and reminders.
When you are working, focus, and do not allow yourself to feel guilty that the kids do not have your full attention. At home in the evenings, do not answer business calls and truly spend those few hours with your babies before they go to sleep. Then do important last-minute work while they are sleeping if you have to.
For when you are feeling overwhelmed and need a quick and effective way to calm down.
Do not beat yourself up!
You are doing the best you can, positive reinforcement is so important – congratulate yourself when finishing a task as this will keep you positive to keep going. Speak kindly to yourself, do not bring yourself down as you will get stuck in negativity.
I implemented this on the weekends – nature does wonders in relaxing, grounding and centering you so that you have a rest before the week begins again. It also sparks creativity within your children when they are playing outside.
Say no to lots of socialising and spending time with people that are negative. I did have some pity parties with a few tears over the years but I focused my attention on gratitude and the future vision I had for myself.
It is important to laugh, smile, and to celebrate the small wins every day.
Your job is to not be your child’s best friend growing up but the person who sets boundaries, providing the foundation for them to learn who they are, what they love, what their strengths are and weaknesses so that when they reach adulthood they are equipped with the skill set needed to navigate life.
Your job is to provide food, shelter, education and love not labeled designer clothing, extravagant holidays and permanent entertainment. Do not allow yourself to feel bad for not giving them these things.
I believe that your job as a parent is to stuard a child till adulthood, 21yrs and then release a fully functioning human being into the world that is confident within themselves, happy, educated in that they can create work and provide for themselves.
Today, my two girls are 18 and 22, they are hard workers, dedicated to their studies, they are grateful for what they have, having known what it takes to get nice things. The fact that they possess qualities of gratitude, appreciation for quality time, good time management skills so they also get to do the fun stuff and that knowing they can do it all without being dependent on anyone, brings me such joy.
Please comment below, if you have any further insights or tips for all the lovely ladies of this community to read and benefit from. I would love to hear your stories as well!
In love, light and happiness